Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Hi, my name is Brittany and, I'm suffering from mom guilt.

Hi Brittany.

I just want to high-five every single working and breastfeeding mom. Ladies, the odds are not ever in our favor. We go into tiny offices, lacking windows and overall aesthetics, hoping that this barbaric machine can mimic our babies delicate suckling and extract enough milk from our already overtired bodies so that someone else can feed our babies with our breastmilk tomorrow.

I'm fortunate enough to only be away from my babe about 10-12 hours a week. His longest day with the sitter is 5.5 hours. He needs lots of milk during that time. Yes, I'm growing a chunk. But you wouldn't know it based on where the doctor says he is on the growth chart. I'm thiiiiiiss close to swearing off growth charts. 

Two weeks ago, I was FOURTY ounces ahead in my pumping. I felt like Wonder Woman, magic jewelry and all. Yes, I should have built a stash while I was on maternity leave, but my postpartum depression manifested in a way that made me resent the idea of having to pump and let my child stay with a sitter - who is a dear friend of mine btw.

This morning when I was getting Jojo's bag ready for the day, I was about 5 ounces shy of what he needs for 5.5 hours. And today is his long day with the sitter, of course.

So, I dropped off my baby with a bottle of formula as a "last-resort-just-in-case-please-God-don't-let-him-be-hungry-today" bottle. And then I got in my car and cried because I felt like a bad mom.

But why are healthy milk supply (mostly out of your control) and being a good mom (mostly in your control) mutually exclusive? They aren't. 

Millennial moms have a tough go of it. We've got social media waiting with baited breath to tell us what we're doing wrong.
Snap a cute pic of your kid in the carseat before you get it buckled and post it to Insta? Obviously that means you drive around reckless with your child unbuckled all day long. 
Share a picture of your baby sleeping next to a blanket? Your child is going to likely die from suffocating on that blanket because you're just going to leave it there to smother their face. 

Mom guilt is real. We've got people watching and people judging. I find myself constantly reevaluating what I'm doing and wondering if someone else is going to think I'm a bad mom.

Meanwhile, I've got a kid who is always happy and smiling up at me and has an out-of-this-world belly laugh.
Does he think I'm a bad mom? I think not. 

Moms, lets stop evaluating our parenting skillz based on what other people are telling us.
Look at your baby.
Is your baby happy?
Is your baby healthy?
Is your baby safe?
Did your baby bonk their head and cry for a minute but mommy made it all better with your magical unicorn boo-boo kisses?

If you answered yes to those questions, you're a good mom.
If you're worried about whether or not you're a good mom, you're a good mom.

Now go have that extra cup of half-caf coffee, you earned it.



  1. Love this!!! Thanks to thyroid cancer I have a low milk supply. I sat and cried as I watched Nick feed Frank formula the first time. But Nick reminded me to be thankful we had another option to feed him. I felt (and sometimes still feel) almost embarrassed my body doesn't produce the way it should! Then I feel guilty because it's nice to let Nick feed the baby sometimes and I can have a break. Lots of mom guilt I am working on letting go! Great post! You are doing a great job!